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Tuesday October 24, 2006

10 Ways to get away with the Tele-Marketers

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10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked  because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my  arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, Ask them to spell their  name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is ; located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their; company for as long as necessary..
8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you  been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she   tries to figure out where the h-l she could know you from..
7. If a Telephone Company (for Long Distance) calls trying to get you to  sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as  you can, "I don't have any friends ... would you be my friend?"
6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy  and you could sure use some money..
5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they  could bring you a case of beer and some chips.
4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you.  When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your  credit card number to a complete stranger..
3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they  will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the  telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say  "I guess you don't want anyone  bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say,  "Now you know how I feel!" Say good-bye and Hang up..
2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come  on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?" And first and the foremost:
1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write down EVERY WORD..